2/13/2009

True Stimulus

Barry breaks it down into simple terms:

Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic only), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

Posted: 4:56 pm

9 Comments »

  1. Ha! Don’t forget wedding planners and my all time favorite back when I was in college, “corporate consultants”.

    We still have these, right?

    Comment by David — 2/13/2009 @ 6:38 pm

  2. I don’t know David — in tough times, those folks might be some of the casualties. As a matter of fact, the BMWife was just telling me today about an article she was reading about how couples were having to scale back on their wedding plans due to the troubles in the economy.

    Comment by BMB — 2/13/2009 @ 6:42 pm

  3. That’s right. The article was mind-boggling actually. It whined about how the average spent on weddings was going to go down from 28k to 20k. WHAT??? No, that didn’t appear to include a honeymoon (Really folks–You can eat at a nice restaurant anytime and any nice dress will do.) One person featured was proud of herself for doing her wedding for “only” 10k. WHAT????

    It did appear that wedding planners were suffering more than the brides–brides overall seemed to be deciding they would be doing their own decorations and footwork rather than hiring out.

    Comment by Maria — 2/13/2009 @ 6:51 pm

  4. For sure. No offense to anyone reading who may be involved in these lines of work, but I always saw those kind of gigs as the first to go when economic reality returned.

    We’re getting there, even though the DC geniuses and their media minions seem to want to do everything in their powers to try and prolong this mess…

    Comment by David — 2/13/2009 @ 7:54 pm

  5. I will make a conscious effort to spend it on local microbrews…so the State can take more of it with the proposed Oregon beer tax. http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/kgw_021309_news_oregon_beer_tax.126942e1.html

    Comment by Toby — 2/13/2009 @ 11:36 pm

  6. “A pint of beer would go from $4.50 to $6.”

    Hmm. There’s a line, somewhere, between being a ‘great American’ and just plain getting ripped off.

    Comment by BMB — 2/14/2009 @ 6:56 am

  7. 6 bucks for a beer???? (Or a beer and a half if you consider it’s 16 ounces.) I think 4.50 is too much. For that price, you might as well clean your bathtub and start microbrewing your own.

    This is going to hurt those wedding planners/caterers again. A year ago, open bar went to “Beer only.” Then it went to BYOB. Now it’s going to go to Bring Your Own Water Bottle because no one is going to even be able to afford to bring their own beer!

    Comment by Maria — 2/14/2009 @ 9:59 am

  8. That’s right. The article was mind-boggling actually. It whined about how the average spent on weddings was going to go down from 28k to 20k. WHAT??? No, that didn’t appear to include a honeymoon (Really folks–You can eat at a nice restaurant anytime and any nice dress will do.)

    If the bride is good looking she doesn’t need to wear much at all.

    Comment by EDN — 2/14/2009 @ 2:10 pm

  9. There is a lot of truth in this. But what is the solution? You need a REVOLUTION. The basic problem is your Zionist influenced corrupt political system. That is why you are involved in 2 useless wars, and your economy is down the toilet. WAKE UP FOR GOD’S SAKE.

    Comment by John Morgan — 2/16/2009 @ 5:09 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. Trackback URI

Leave a comment

Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

  (Not required, not displayed)